gongsimiljwei

[edited due to the horrendous grammar mistakes *screams in horror* i just found when i was checking this post.]HAHAHAHA HELLOOOOOO DAMN HIGH DONT KNOW WHY

i've decided to blog about little little snippets of the funny little things that made me laughed upsidedowninsideoutroundroundroundandabout from today onwards! [IF I FEEL LIKE IT]

HAHAHAHHAHA OKAY HERE WE GO

oh shit i forgot.


AH.

shit.

hmmmm

um.


1.)okay ks seriously tells damn cork jokes.


ks: eh eh joey i tell you a joke.

jo: ah what.

ks: one day, a guy wanted to buy a brain. he went up to the brain shop and saw many brains there. he noticed a brain which is labelled from china, and it was $1500000. the guy asked the cashier, "eh why so ex?!??!! " the cashier merely replied, "use china brain can find job mah." but it was too expensive for the guy to purchase so he went up to the next brain. it was labelled singapore brain, and it costs $ 2500000. he was surprised to see the price and exclaimed, "WAH! so ex! " and the cashier replied, " aiyo, spore brain, not ex already okay." the guy went up to the last brain, and it was labelled," joey's brain, $2700000000000" .the guy screamed at the price. do you know why your brain is so expensive?

jo : um why?

ks: the cashier went up to him and exclaimed," EH! NEVER USE BEFORE ONE LEH! OF COURSE EX LAH!"

jo, wena : ...... -_______-

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SO CORK.


2.)anyway i went online and anvy suddenly talked to me,
" my name is help."

i was so puzzled, and i typed " huh??"

and then i realised that my pm was," i need help."

LMAO DAMN CORK AHHAHAHAA


3.) anyway SIVA'S LESSON WAS SO HILARIOUS.
really seriously 110% chop funny.

if only you can imagine her voice and the whole setting.

*the class was complaining about something but i forgot.*
OH.
IT WAS,
* the class was complaining about the sheltering at innovajc when heavy rain comes.*

siva: BUT HOW? WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?

class(in chorus): AIYAA! YOU HELP US COMPLAIN CAN?!??!

siva: YOU WANT ME TO COMPLAIN TO THE PRINCIPAL??? YOU REALLY WANT ME TO??? YOU WANT ME TO *SCREECHES* COMPLAIN AND THEN I GET FIRED AND THEN I BECOME JOBLESS-

class(in chorus): yaaaaaaa-

siva: AND THEN I HAVE NO INCOME AND THEN I HAVE TO -

class: go join awareness!

siva: AND THEN WHAT, I BECOME SECURITY GUAAAARD?!?!?


HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
I CAN TOTALY IMAGINE HER BEING ONE.
SHE WILL BE DAMN GOOD. LMAO
DAMN CORK CAN IMAGINE HER SCREECHING AT CARS AND UNWANTED VISITORS LMAO.

andddddddddddd,

hmmm.
alot of funny things. i forgot.

simple things like,

4.) during the midst of math lecture there was an announcement.

"sorry for the interruption. the temperature taking will start at eleven am SHARP"
and at the same time sj and i went ," SHING!"

LMAO OKAY YOU DONT GET IT NVM. LMAO.

5.) another stupid one was when the pwrs were at the locker area.
a group of jc1s were sitting near us.
they were chatting pretty loudly and one of them said," aiya! ALL THE HIGHERMOTHER TONGUE STUDENTS SHOULD JUST DIE LAH!"

and SJ AND I AT THE SAME TIME,EACH DID A STUPID DYING ACTION. i did the drop head look down "urgh!" thing. sj did smth like that too. AT THE SAME TIME. and the girls looked at us. rie and ryl were laughing profusely. AHAHHAHHAHAH DAMN COCK DAMN COCK.

okay for 4.) and 5.) you guys most probably wouldn't get them.
they are those typical you-got-to-be-thr thingies.

SO IT'S OKAY(:

there were more scenarios like these but i dont have time to blog already.

I LOVE YOU SHONU.
AND SHONA.
AND KAKAKKAUUUUUUU.

:)

end of gongsimi drama. AHAHHAHAHA

:(

his comments are funny yet sad. :(

dilemma.

hey guys.
will you vote for me if i'm in a contest?
please tell me.

because in order to win i need votes.

eh how come my blog so dead arh?! people went for star2 kayaking what! wahpingpiangtalkgongpong

HELLO.
FIRST AND FOREMOST,

HAPPY BIIIIIIIRTHDAY KAISHENG!!!!
MY DEVOTED READER WHO WAKES UP AT FIVE AM TO READ THIS PAGE EVERYDAY.
HAHAHHAHAHA JOKING!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
AND I HOPE YOU GET ALL THE WISHES THAT I'VE SENT YOU VIA SMS :D


DONT KILL ME, OKAY.

AND I'M SO SORRY TO ALVIN WHO IS DRAGGED INTO THIS SHIT WITH YOU.
BUT IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY MAH! SO THIS HUMILIATION IS HIS BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO YOU OKAY :)

AND THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN INTERACTIVE AND FUNNY (TO SOME EXTENT) CLASSMATE.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA


OKAY I'M TYPING IN CAPS.
DO I SEEM LIKE SHOUTING?
OKAY THEN I SHALL ACT LIKE SHOUTING.


SECONDLY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL YU ZHAO HONG!!!

YOU BROUGHT EVERY ONE OF US AND THEIR SHIT[not mine] TOGETHER IN MOUNT PANTI,
AND GAVE US REAL EMO SHIT WHEN YOU PLAYED YOUR EMO SONG.
I CAN STILL REMEMBER THAT SCENE ,
YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST INSTRUCTORS I'VE EVER MET.
WHO STILL WISHES TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH US AND TAUGHT US BBALL,
TREATED US TO SO MANY DRINKS
AND GIVE US OUR BEST SUPPORT FOR EVERYTHING.
FOR THIS I REALLY AM GRATEFUL TO YOU AND WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.
YOU CANT READ THIS NOW BECAUSE YOU'RE CURRENTLY BACK TO THAT SAME SHITTY MOUNTAIN,
BUT I HOPE YOU GET TO READ THIS AND SMILE TO YOURSELF BECAUSE EVERYTHING I TYPE HERE FOR YOU IS NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.

THANK YOU!:)




C6 THE CHAMPION FOR INNOVAJC 2008 LOVES YOU.

AHAHAHHA LOOK AT KS HERE. HE CHANGED DRAMATICALLY RIGHT? THE WORD DRAMATICALLY SUITS HIM TTM.

HAPPY GROWING OLD, DANIEL. HAHAHAHA

...

okay i'm going to stop shouting.

star2kayaking.

DAMN TIRING.

but the styles and techniques are so kwelxzx

like drifting with big splashes-just-in-time-before-you-hit-another-kayak and being able to twist and turn on the kayak without getting out of it.

although all the students dont know how to do the full 360 roll with the kayak in the middle of the sea.

HAHAHA.

the worst part WAS.

during the end of the course i have about FIVE different attempts wanting to CAPSIZE MY KAYAK.

IT WAS SO SCARY!

kayaks all surrounding you,

you made your escape, kayaking as fast as i could out of it,

and suddenly there's this super fast kayak [URH HMM MELVIN AND THE EX-PE TEACHER] chasing me behind

and sllllllooooooowwww ryl[ HAHAHAH ] all capsize-thirsty for my kayak.

i was so damn tired!

it was like playing catching kayaking in the middle of the sea against the huge waves.

and yes i capsized in the middle of the sea with huge waves.

salt totally went up my nose URGHHH.

thank you ryl melvin jasoneo pe-teacher and alot more i couldnt see for the salt contribution to my body thankyewvelymunch.

anyway i LOVEEEE our last instructor.

he is damn experienced!

and he is pretty cool, in a way.

anyway the second day's expedition was TIRING. kayaking for four hours!

really peng ardy.

our second day :D THIS STUPID GUY WAS TRYING TO BLOCK US LMAO

i like our small headed instructor during our expedition as well.

anyway i've been testing the changi village's food as well.

and i can conclude after three days THE HOKKIEN MEE IS THE VERY VERY BEST.
cooked by this stall which sells only hokkien mee.

that explains why it tastes so good.

and there are so many signs pointing to all types of dishes that they have either been recommended by makansutra, channel u channel 8 or even 95.8fm, blahblah. tsk tsk tskkkkk.

that's the cruel fact but we DO choose those recommended ones.

and their chickenchopnoodles and wanton mee-SHIIIIOOOOK.

ah chiang at his best pose. AHAHHA

and!

the second day started off pretty well with the sight of many many " professional " sandcastles,

like those which were extremely wellbuilt. realise that this sandcastle is not as easy as it seems.

you can p-c it as well.

notice that there are footprints along the path to the castle itself.

there were other sandcastles around and they were better.

pity that i didnt take photos of them.

every detail is well-thought out, it is just not the normal sandcastle! LMAO.

OKAY LAST DAY.

I got to make more friends and realise that there are so many older students with us,

like one called BIRD who is actually damn old but he looks 20,

the other is an ex-pe teacher who looks like a camp instructor LIKE TOTALLY,

and another responsible with leadership guy, a really really nice guy. ahhahahaha. and the rest are mostly ijodacians. :)

I KINDA LIKE EVERYONE THERE:D

I THINK I LIKE MY STAR2.

end of star2drama.

todayimmaveryveryveryhappyhappyhappyhappykid:D

jobyforever.bs :)

ANYWAY I JUST SAW DAJIE'S BLOG AND I JUST CANNOT STOP LAUGHING RIGHT NOW HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

SHE TYPED:

"geog extra tutorial was occupied by song guessing game which continued till we were walking to the mrt.one time i was saying out parts of jason mraz feat. colbie caillat's lucky

and with all confidence priscilla exclaimed:

BESTFRIENDS!

and ah wong with another set of confidence thinking hers is right:

I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!

hahahahahah highlarious!im like grinning like a moron now as im typing this."

HAHAHAH YEAH WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT?!

OMG I LOVE THAT GAME. i'm trying to think of other difficult songs that can strangle you guys HAHAHHA. "familiar laAAAaaah!!!!!! but what is it?!?!???!! omg it's killing me!!!"

MUAHAHHAA

end of the officially happypilled drama LMAO.

just had the worse star two kayaking lesson EVER.

okay the bottom line is,

THE TRAINERS SUCK.

and the second line. I PREFER RUDI. WHERE'S RUDI OUR STARONE TRAINER. :( :(
the other students couldnt agree more.
even ms sim. [about the sucky sicky trainers]HAHAHAHA.

and sorry sorry to those whom i didnt reply today, haha i was busy:) sorry sorry.



this WAS johnia's leg. HAHAHHAA.
AND JOHNIA'S A GIRL. welllll because people like my dad misunderstood johnia for guys. HAHAHA



after the whole crazy kayaking experience, all the angsty angsty want to kill trainers-ty feelings went off. the odac ppl minus funny skinny jc1 malay guy. :D

THEN WENT TO IKEA!!!!!!!!

AND HAD A DRAMAFEAST THAT WAS EVERYTHING TO MY LIKING.

THE TYPICAL IKEAFOODS I WILL NEVER FAIL TO ORDER:

DIAMCAKE

TEN MEATBALLS (WITH JAM MMMMMM)

SIX CHICKEN WINGS

me-->8D

soooooooooooo full and happy. :)

and thanks for the ride home. i didnt ask you to come okay!

more about the ranting about kayaking trainers next time, maybe there will be more after next weekend. because we're going on a star two kayaking expedition cross the seas. HAHAHHAHA.

damn cool, imagine packing food and handphone and money and everything into the back of your kayak?! :D but i think it will be super exhausting for us.

end of kayak drama. :)

HAHA. kukukacha of the day. and what have we been learning. AHHHHHHHH

[i edited alot of stuffs about the Mr Tan and his mismatched socks. LMAO] feel free to re-read.



ben was trying to show off his baby freeze he learnt i think a week ago.
that photo was right before he straighten his legs HAHAHHA
but i didnt know so i just took this photo.
LMAO he killed me for that.



okay lah applause applause.


HAHAHA. he created mermaid freeze. which was so NOOOB even grandma can do it. AHHAHA JKJK.

okay today was really boring. UNTIL I SAW WHAT I'VE BEEN LEARNING ALL THESE WHILE.


LIKE WHAT THE?!
i showed ben and we just couldnt stop laughing.
for those who did their math tutorial, i bet you dont find this hilarious ardy because you guys have already laughed your heads off the moment you see the question.

i can totally imagine you doing your math tut seriously,
and as you scanned through the questions you notice this particular shitty question that made your eyes widen as big as ping pong balls and re-read it againandagainandagain. AHHAHAHA


Mr Tan owns two purple socks, four pink socks and three pale-green socks (he lost the other one)[i was like, WTH!? HAHAHA i can totally imagine the examiner whispering in your ear that he lost the other one HAHAHA]. All his socks are randomly strewn in his sock drawer. Every morning, he wakes up late and in a rush, randomly picks two socks out of the drawer to wear for work.



AND THE QUESTION GOES,
(ii) getting sick of wearing mismatched socks[HAHAH i thought getting sick is a word we should be using to this question AND IF HE WAS SICK OF THAT, THEN SHIJIA AND MANY OTHERS WOULD BE SICK AND DEAD BY NOW HOR SJ. LMAO] to work most of the time, he decides to randomly pick three socks instead of two[HAHAHAH OMG I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS BECAUSE , I DONT KNOW, WHAT A STUPID MAN LMAO.
like, firstly, he would give himself more problems by figuring where to place his third sock!
and then Mr Tan will give US another probability question of finding the probability of retrieving the third sock from Bag A, Bag B and Bag C when he finishes his work and reaches home and realises,"hey! i still have a sock in one of my bags! oh no! i need to ask the students again! ohno soo sorry ij H2 students." HAHAHAHAHA

SECONDLY, if he still didnt get a matched pair and ended up flaring up, wouldnt he be even more troubled with which two socks to pair up SINCE THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT BY THE TIME HE LEFT HOME ?! ]. find the probability that he will obtain a matched pair of socks using this selection method.

SO WHY CANT MR TAN JUST OPEN HIS EYES, LOOK INTO THE DRAWER AND TAKE HIS MATCHED PINK PALE-GREEN OR PURPLE SOCKS SINCE HE IS NOT COLOUR BLIND AND JUST ASK US ONE SIMPLE PROBABILITY QUESTION LIKE, " find the probability of how many matched pair of socks can Mr Tan find in five minutes?! given that the probability of him finding a pink sock is five secs, green socks for five mins and purple socks for thirty secs!"

TROUBLESOME OLD MAN.

that was so.. so. -.- <-- this is really the best emoticon i can use. and the geofile (geography) reading of A Case Study Of A Cash Crop- Coffee. halfway it showed a diagram of the timeline of notable events in the history of coffee.


DAMN RIDICULOUS. hhahahahahahhaa

yr 1475: okay blah blah,women in Turkey must serve men coffee every day by law.

yr 1600: the drink[coffee] is baptised by Pope Clement VIII.

yr 1651: first british coffee house opened- women signed a petition against coffee[HAHA it's like signing a petition to milo], worried about the effects in the virtility of their men.

... blahblah

yr 1690: Dutch smuggle[it's funny that how a really common item was needed to be smuggled, like smuggling MILO now from malaysia to spore. HAHAHAHA, in a serious tone , i WILL buy it at all costs.] coffee to Java...

and the funniest part.

yr 1727: Brazilian coffee industry starts when a Brazilian officer seduces the wife of the governor of French Guiana- she gives him a coffee bush which he smuggles back to Brazil.


AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA LIKE OMG. REALLY ZZZ.

SO THANKS TO the successful seduction that brought the magical energy bean into our modern world :D HAHAHAHAHA

OKAY SO WHAT HAVE WE BEEN STUDYING MAMA.

end of the end product of mugging-going crazy drama.