very sad.

come that thing.sucks.
today no mood, i think pms-ing,have been worrying about alot of things.wishing for many things to happen.

but the worst is about my grandma.she's reaching 90 and she has been not feeling well..i'm really very worried about her.suddenly she looks so weak,so fragile,i'm so scared.
i dont want to know when she'll go to the other world,i cant live without her.
she's my life,she has been taking care of me since i was born.she loves me,showers me with all the tender and care,what more can i ask from her??
this year unfortunately she has lost the ability to walk,she was sad,i always find her crying in her room,living in denial,thinking that she can still walk..
it's a very sad thing.everyday i have to face the weak side of her,i never knew,she'll be reduced to her current state.she has always been the strongest,the most multi-task lady i've ever seen.

came back from school,my friend pang seh me,then come home to find that grandma and mum not at home,which is weird 'cause my grandma doesnt go out.after that i started to have a really bad feeling,and i hated all the assumptions i'm unconciously making in my head.called mum and luckily grandma didnt have any severe problem,she's just sick and had to see the family doctor.

i am so unhappy.i dont want her to go.but life still has to go on.

i dont want oiyi to go too.cried like shit when i knew she's going US THIS AUGUST
thinking about makes me cry.
dont want her to go.
worse,he's going ns.next friday.NEXT FRIDAY.
i dont want him to go.
i'll be so lonely,i'll miss all the times we are supposed to have.


my last wish is to go ice skating with my lover.with you.